Anal stimulation is something that both sexes can enjoy yet until recently was not widely talked about and not seen in mainstream porn. Often regarded as “gay” the taboos around anal stimulation still prevent open discussion about it and therefore make it difficult to understand and explore this aspect of sex.

Anal stimulation does not have to mean anal sex, unless you want it to, and can be far more subtle than most people realise and far more intense than they could imagine. This article will concentrate on anal stimulation for men and we will return to anal stimulation for female partners at a later date.

Men can enjoy anal stimulation in three ways:

• The anus itself is packed with nerve endings that make even gentle stimulation on the outside of the anus very enjoyable. On the flip side this also makes it imperative that great care is taken when experimenting with anal stimulation. The nerve endings are there for a reason which we will cover below.
• Just inside the rectum on the anterior (front) wall it is possible to stimulate the prostate gland. By inserting a suitable sex toy or a finger it is possible to massage this very sensitive structure creating intense sensation and even ejaculation.
• Some men find the sensation of simply having something in their anus to be sexually arousing especially at the point of orgasm.

As mentioned above the anus has a high density of nerve endings. The reason for this is probably the delicate nature of the human colon. Unlike a woman’s vagina that is very resilient and will take a lot of relatively rough treatment without permanent harm the rectum and colon are sensitive. Internal anal stimulation takes time, patience, relaxation and a suitable lubricant. Do not be fooled by the make believe world of porn where every ass is ready to accept a finger/sex toy/huge cock with nothing more than a little spit. Without proper preparation you could experience pain, bleeding, tissue damage and permanent impairment.

The way to enjoy anal stimulation is to prepare and relax beforehand. Let us be frank here; We all know what the primary purpose of your intestines are so cleanliness is paramount. You may choose to shower before you begin, and if you intend to insert anything inside your anus you might want to use an anal douche.

Next you should select a lubricant. The only time that spit is useful in anal stimulation is externally. The anus does not produce a natural lubricant – the tiny quantities of colonic mucus your intestines do produce are to aid the transit of faeces out of your body. A good quality water based lube is a good idea, glycerine free if possible as it will not degrade once the container is opened like those that do contain glycerine.

Some people recommend silicone based lubricants for anal they are more expensive but last longer. They are however incompatible with a lot of sex toys and can destroy the surface finish of a toy making it unusable.

One thing we would strongly recommend you avoid is anal numbing creams . While it is true that such preparations can allow the muscles of your anal sphincter to relax they will also reduce the sensation in your opening to such an extent that they make it more likely you will damage your rectum when inserting a finger or toy. Pain is the body’s way of warning you to stop and ignoring or masking that warning can lead to bleeding, a perforated rectum and blood poisoning.

A good way to start experimenting with anal stimulation is on your back with a towel under your backside to catch any excess lube. We recommend that you err towards using more lube than you think you will require and working it slowly into your anus with a finger or toy. The anus has two strong rings of muscle, one after the other and their natural reaction when probed is to clench. Therefore gentle circular motions, regular application of lube and slowly increasing the pressure of your probing is the key.

You may find that gently probing your opening is as far as you want to go and that insertion of anything, finger or sex toy is uncomfortable or just not for you. Anal stimulation is a very personal thing and the only real steadfast rules are” gently does it” and plenty of lube!

If you are going to experiment with sex toys then start small. You can buy a single small toy such as a mini-butt plug or buy a set that is graduated from small to increasingly larger sizes. We advise that you do not improvise.  Butt plugs are the shape they are for a reason. The narrow neck and ring or flat base are there to stop the toy being drawn up inside you – because once the toy has been inserted the two muscular sphincter rings will draw it inside. Using a non-anal toy anally can lead to a trip to the A & E department of your local hospital and some interesting questions from the medical staff.

Once you have mastered simple butt plugs and feel you are ready to move on you could try one of the male anal toys specially designed to stimulate the prostate. Manufacturers such as Rocks-Off, Nexus and Aneros supply a range of such male specific toys. As we have said before, start small and work up until you reach a level that you are happy with.

Whatever level of anal stimulation you choose to attain your orgasms will never be the same again. The intensity and nature of the male orgasm while being anally stimulated will surprise and delight you. You will wonder why you didn’t try it sooner.